Ceramic Mugs

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You think I’m sarcastic. You should hear the things I keep to myself - Ceramic Mug
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Without this I would scare people - Ceramic Mug
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Underestimate me. That'll be fun - Ceramic Mug
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Today’s mood is sponsored by coffee, sarcasm and trauma - Ceramic Mug
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So apparently I have an attitude - Ceramic Mug
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Shhh, no one cares - Ceramic Mug
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Me pretending to listen should be enough for you - Ceramic Mug
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Life's good. You should get one - Ceramic Mug
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Life is all about being pretty. I’m pretty funny. You are pretty daft - Ceramic Mug
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Keep talking. I'm totally judging you - Ceramic Mug
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If you don’t like sarcasm, don’t ask me stupid questions - Ceramic Mug
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If only sarcasm burned calories - Ceramic Mug
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I’m sorry, am I too sarcastic today - Ceramic Mug
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I have never faked a sarcasm - Ceramic Mug
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Hoping that my coffee kicks in before the reality does - Ceramic Mug
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Don’t take yourself too seriously. Nobody else does - Ceramic Mug
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Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed - Ceramic Mug
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Becoming an adult was the stupidest thing I have ever done - Ceramic Mug
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Proud member of the National Sarcasm Society. Like we need your help - Ceramic Mug
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Please don't be rude to me because my rude will outrude your rude and you will cry - Ceramic Mug
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My biggest achievement in life is staying out of prison and mental health hospital - Ceramic Mug
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I'm a great gardener. The plants really should try harder - Ceramic Mug
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Today's plan - Piss off all the dickheads - Ceramic Mug
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I've googled my symptoms. Turns out that I have a bullshit intolerance - Ceramic Mug
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I pinky promise to be annoying forever - Ceramic Mug
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Staying positive & testing negative - Ceramic Mug
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Somebody sedate me - Ceramic Mug
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Some people like to stir the pot. Some people like to smoke it - Ceramic Mug
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If you don’t like me, breathe in and out. There’s literally nothing else you can do - Ceramic Mug
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Taking it one ‘are you fucking kidding me’ at a time - Ceramic Mug
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I’ve hit a whole new level of not giving a fuck - Ceramic Mug
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Today’s plan FUCK IT! - Ceramic Mug
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Live. Laugh. Love. Leave me alone - Ceramic Mug
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Do not disturb me whilst I’m drinking my coffee. My will to live and all of my people skills are in this mug - Ceramic Mug
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Today's mantra Punching people will land me jail time and I'm too soft for jail. Omm - Ceramic Mug
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I won't die without coffee, But you might - Ceramic Mug
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I was once a people person. But people ruined that for me. Now I'm a coffee person - Ceramic Mug
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I don't need your attitude. I've got my own - Ceramic Mug
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Some people score the perfect 10 on my twatometer - Ceramic Mug
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I'll never ever ever get my shit together - Ceramic Mug
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Live. Laugh. Love. Don't be a... - Ceramic Mug
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I'm sarchotic. People don't know if I'm just sarcastic or fucking psychotic - Ceramic Mug
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Trauma. Do you mean the reason why I'm so fucking hilarious - Ceramic Mug
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The devil whispered I'm coming for you. I whispered back bring coffee - Ceramic Mug
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Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt - Ceramic Mug
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I'm a tea enthusiast. The more tea I drink, the more enthusiastic I become - Ceramic Mug
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I'm a coffee enthusiast. The more coffee I drink, the more enthusiastic I become - Ceramic Mug
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If anyone has any experiene with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know - Ceramic Mug
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I hate when people don't get my sarcasm because I now sound like a bully - Ceramic Mug
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I don't remember how to write in Roman numerals. I'M LIVID - Ceramic Mug
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At some point you will find someone who is obsessed with you and wants you all the time. Don't ler that person be your manager at work - Ceramic Mug
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I don't have the energy for you today - Ceramic Mug
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I'm a YOUR TEXT I work harder than ugly strippers - Personalised Ceramic Mug
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Your secrets are safe with me. I'm not even listening - Ceramic Mug
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I'm allergic to stupidity. I break out in sarcasm - Ceramic Mug
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I won't be remembered as a person who keeps their mouth shut - Ceramic Mug
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I wish stupid people came with the mute button - Ceramic Mug
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Don't be ashamed of who you are. That's your parents job - Ceramic Mug
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Apologies for having a great rack and always being right - Ceramic Mug
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I don't have the energy today to pretend I like people - Ceramic Mug
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I have finally discovered what’s wrong with people. On the left side of their brains, there’s nothing right, and on the right side, there’s nothing left - Ceramic Mug
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If you hear me shouting at my children, just know, that I said it nicely 37 times - Ceramic Mug
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Live Laugh Fuck Off - Ceramic Mug
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Daily reminder some people are here just to test your patience - Ceramic Mug
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Proudly sponsored by blood, sweat and tears but mostly wine - Ceramic Mug
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Keeping my head high and my middle finger higher - Ceramic Mug
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Father / Dad: Wisdom is surpassed only by his sense of directions - Ceramic Mug
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Father / Dad: The person we ask about mum's whereabouts - Ceramic Mug
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Father / Dad: The guardian of the thermostat, keeper of the sacred household temperature - Ceramic Mug
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Father / Dad: Proudly supporting socks with sandals since forever - Ceramic Mug
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Father / Dad: Master of the grill, king of the corny joke - Ceramic Mug
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Father / Dad: Keeps mother sane and the children alive - Ceramic Mug
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Father / Dad: Carries photos where his money used to be - Ceramic Mug
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Don’t you sometimes just want to say. You can’t possibly be that fucking stupid - Ceramic Mug
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We drink coffee in this place - Ceramic Mug
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Proud member of the overcaffeinated club - Ceramic Mug
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Apparently, alcohol is not the way to improve staff meetings - Ceramic Mug
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Sometimes I don’t know if I’m in a bad mood or everyone around me is just fucking stupid - Ceramic Mug
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Saying fuck off is rude. Instead ask how can I hep you to fuck off. Be kind - Ceramic Mug
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I refer to myself as a ‘free spirit’ because it sounds better than ‘out of fucking control' - Ceramic Mug
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Don't mistake me for someone who gives a fuck - Ceramic Mug
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As per my previous email - Ceramic Mug
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The only things in my house that aren’t dusty are my wine glasses - Ceramic Mug
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Successful adulting is when you avoid stabbing someone even though you really want to - Ceramic Mug
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I'm all peopled out - Ceramic Mug
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If I'm too much, go find less - Ceramic Mug
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I'd be too powerful if I was mentally stable - Ceramic Mug
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I hope your day is as pleasant as you - Ceramic Mug
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I don't want to adult anymore. I don't even want to be a human. I want to be a goat and headbutt everyone - Ceramic Mug
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I believe in being annoyed at first sight - Ceramic Mug
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Good luck with yourself - Ceramic Mug
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Go away. I'm introverting - Ceramic Mug
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I just want to bring me bestie to work so she/he can see the shitshow for herself/himself - Ceramic Mug
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Work is already hard, but some co-workers make it even harder - Ceramic Mug
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Weekend plans: I’ll either stay home, and wish I went out or go out, and wish I stayed home - Ceramic Mug
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I have a very peopley job for a person who doesn’t like people - Ceramic Mug
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I’ve tried shutting up. It’s not for me - Ceramic Mug
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I know the voices aren’t real, but they come up with some great ideas - Ceramic Mug
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I can’t do people today - Ceramic Mug
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I’m sitting here enjoying my brew like I’ve got no laundry to do - Ceramic Mug
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I’m sitting here enjoying my brew like I’ve got nothing to do - Ceramic Mug
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I’m sitting here enjoying my brew like I’ve got no work to do - Ceramic Mug
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I’m sitting here enjoying my brew like I’ve got no shit to do - Ceramic Mug
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Trying really hard not to unleash my inner dickhead - Ceramic Mug
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Trying really hard not to unleash my inner bitch - Ceramic Mug
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Listen the fuck up - Ceramic Mug
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Some people are solving major world problems, and I'm just here being cute and all - Ceramic Mug
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Whenever, wherever... I meant to have it altogether but hate to disappoint - Ceramic Mug
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I’m glad that my thoughts don’t appear in speech bubbles over my head - Ceramic Mug
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Good girls go to heaven. Bad ones get spanked - Ceramic Mug
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I’m busy being fucking awesome - Ceramic Mug
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Stop wondering if you are good enough. You’re not - Ceramic Mug
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I’m in a pretty good mood today. I’ll probably tell you to fuck off, but I’ll have a smile on my face. I might not even give you the finger - Ceramic Mug
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Yorkshire Sayings - Ceramic Mug
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Yorkshire Born And Brewed Ceramic Mug
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Be Reyt Ceramic Mug
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I am your sunshine and you are my Vitamin D - Ceramic Mug
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You are my sunshine and I’m your Vitamin D - Ceramic Mug
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Love is like a fine wine. It gets better with age, and sometimes it gives you a headache - Ceramic Mug
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I fell in love at first sight and I’m still here after taking a second look - Ceramic Mug
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I love you more than Mondays - Ceramic Mug
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I love you because you are bat shit crazy and you make me look normal - Ceramic Mug
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Love: finding the one person who annoys you the least - Ceramic Mug
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I love you more than coffee, but please don't make me prove it - Ceramic Mug
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If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question - Ceramic Mug
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Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm not good at poetry, but hey, you'll do - Ceramic Mug
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Why is it called ‘beauty sleep’ if I wake up looking like this - Ceramic Mug
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If you don’t like me because I burn sage, it means that the sage is working - Ceramic Mug
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‘We don’t lick people’ is the biggest lie we tell children - Ceramic Mug
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I wonder if people look both ways before getting on my fucking nerves - Ceramic Mug
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Tattoos hurt less than dealing with stupid people - Ceramic Mug
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If you are cooler than me, does it make me hotter than you - Ceramic Mug
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Having dirty mind makes ordinary conversations much more interesting - Ceramic Mug
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Didn’t care yesterday. Don’t give a shit today. Most likely won’t give a fuck tomorrow - Ceramic Mug
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I fucking hate people - Ceramic Mug
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I'm freaking awesome - Ceramic Mug
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There’s a method to my madness... haha, just kidding. It’s just madness, straight up chaotic madness. But I’m fun - Ceramic Mug
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People are taught to be too many things that contradict each other. I’ve decided to be amazing - Ceramic Mug
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It’s so hard not to swear. Sentences just don’t sound the same. They feel unseasoned - Ceramic Mug
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Being sarcastic and being sincere sounds surprisingly similar - Ceramic Mug
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I can’t turn water into wine but I can turn alcohol into bad decisions and absolute chaos - Ceramic Mug
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Did you know that there’s a medicine for what you suffer from? It’s called cuntybiotics - Ceramic Mug
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Stupid people should pay more tax - Ceramic Mug
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I should be paid more for the amount of idiocy I need to deal with - Ceramic Mug
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Being at work is a social experiment testing the limits of my patience and ability to interract with idiots - Ceramic Mug
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I know that some people don’t like me. Do you know that I don’t give a fuck - Ceramic Mug
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Some people are just a waste of evolution - Ceramic Mug
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You can’t possibly still be shocked by what’s coming out of my mouth - Ceramic Mug
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I like to leave people more confused than how I found them - Ceramic Mug
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Some people are like twunts. Because twat and cunt just isn't enough - Ceramic Mug
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People with no sense of humour have an increased sense of self-importance - Ceramic Mug
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Never be afraid to try something new. Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic - Ceramic Mug
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I might leave work early today, for whatever excuse you’ll believe - Ceramic Mug
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I wonder how many people listen to me and think if I get psychiatric help - Ceramic Mug
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'I told you so’ can give better satisfaction than sex - Ceramic Mug
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Refusing to waste my energy on being normal - Ceramic Mug
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Embracing the glorious mess that I am - Ceramic Mug
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I tried to be normal once. Worst experience ever - Ceramic Mug
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Dear life, could you at least use lube - Ceramic Mug
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I like staring at marked slices of tree for hours, hallucinating vividly. Reading is awesome - Ceramic Mug
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You are not completely useless... You can be used as a bad example - Ceramic Mug
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Always keep your chin up! Otherwise, you’ll look like you have a double chin - Ceramic Mug
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There is someone for everyone. For some, it’s a psychiatrist - Ceramic Mug
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Of course I talk like an idiot. How else would you understand me - Cermic Mug
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You go girl! And don’t come back - Ceramic Mug
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Karmasutra When life screws you in all kinds of creative ways - Ceramic Mug
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I’m awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time - Ceramic Mug
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Let’s see which emotional issues should I bury under layers of sarcasm today - Ceramic Mug
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Doing my best and fucking the rest - Ceramic Mug
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Sometimes practicing gratitude sounds like: Thank fuck for that - Ceramic Mug
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Fuckity fuck fuck. Mean people suck - Ceramic Mug
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‘Fuck it’ is the ‘aloha’ of swearing - Ceramic Mug
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Did you know that the average person says 80 swear words a day? Fucking amateurs - Ceramic Mug
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Letting that shit go - Ceramic Mug
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Investing in myself. Investing in Bitchcoin - Ceramic Mug
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Today’s forecast: 100% chance of bullshit. 0% chance of giving a fuck - Ceramic Mug
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Remembering my WHY, so I can power through my WHAT THE FUCKS - Ceramic Mug
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I don’t swear at the top of my lungs. I perform - Ceramic Mug
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Swearing is caring - Ceramic Mug
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Assholery no longer tolerated - Ceramic Mug
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And exactly who the fuck do you think you are - Ceramic Mug
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One happy bitch - Ceramic Mug
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Outfucking the other fuckers - Ceramic Mug
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If I got possessed you wouldn’t even realise - Ceramic Mug
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The most serious goose in the gaggle - Ceramic Mug
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I don’t do ifs, buts and maybes. I do absolutes - Ceramic Mug
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DO NOT DISTURB! Already disturbed. Proceed with caution - Ceramic Mug
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Whoever is in charge of making sure I don’t do stupid shit is fucking fired - Ceramic Mug
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You know that voice in your head that warns you not to do stupid shit? Mine bets me £5 that I can’t... - Ceramic Mug
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Not to brag, but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions - Ceramic Mug
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You are having a laugh - Ceramic Mug
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Today is giving lazy. Today has given up - Ceramic Mug
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This mug is a sign for you to leave me alone - Ceramic Mug
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Stupid people shouldn’t breed - Ceramic Mug
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Prison is temporary, memories are forever - Ceramic Mug
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I wish I lacked common sense. You all seem so happy - Ceramic Mug
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I really want to be nice to people but some of you dickheads - Ceramic Mug
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Give me coffee to change the things I can and wine to accept those that I cannot - Ceramic Mug
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I need a speed bump between my brain and my mouth - Ceramic Mug
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Always have you guessing what the fuck is wrong with me - Ceramic Mug
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