Drinkware

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You think I’m sarcastic. You should hear the things I keep to myself - Ceramic Mug
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Without this I would scare people - Ceramic Mug
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Underestimate me. That'll be fun - Ceramic Mug
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Today’s mood is sponsored by coffee, sarcasm and trauma - Ceramic Mug
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So apparently I have an attitude - Ceramic Mug
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Shhh, no one cares - Ceramic Mug
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Me pretending to listen should be enough for you - Ceramic Mug
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Life's good. You should get one - Ceramic Mug
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Life is all about being pretty. I’m pretty funny. You are pretty daft - Ceramic Mug
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Keep talking. I'm totally judging you - Ceramic Mug
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If you don’t like sarcasm, don’t ask me stupid questions - Ceramic Mug
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If only sarcasm burned calories - Ceramic Mug
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I’m sorry, am I too sarcastic today - Ceramic Mug
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I have never faked a sarcasm - Ceramic Mug
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Hoping that my coffee kicks in before the reality does - Ceramic Mug
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Don’t take yourself too seriously. Nobody else does - Ceramic Mug
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Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed - Ceramic Mug
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Becoming an adult was the stupidest thing I have ever done - Ceramic Mug
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Proud member of the National Sarcasm Society. Like we need your help - Ceramic Mug
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Please don't be rude to me because my rude will outrude your rude and you will cry - Ceramic Mug
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My biggest achievement in life is staying out of prison and mental health hospital - Ceramic Mug
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I'm a great gardener. The plants really should try harder - Ceramic Mug
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Today's plan - Piss off all the dickheads - Ceramic Mug
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I've googled my symptoms. Turns out that I have a bullshit intolerance - Ceramic Mug
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I pinky promise to be annoying forever - Ceramic Mug
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Sometimes practising gratitude sounds like 'Thank fuck for that' - Travel Mug
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Live. Laugh. Love. Don't be a... - Travel Mug
£15.00
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Today’s plan FUCK IT! - Travel Mug
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Today’s forecast: 100% chance of bullshit. 0% chance of giving a fuck - Travel Mug
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This is my daily dose of 300ml of fuckitall - Travel Mug
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Taking it one ‘are you fucking kidding me’ at a time - Travel Mug
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Sometimes I don’t know if I’m in a bad mood or everyone around me is just fucking stupid - Travel Mug
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Some people score the perfect 10 on my Twatometer - Travel Mug
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Live Laugh fuck Off - Travel Mug
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Letting that shit go - Travel Mug
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It's Called Karma And It's Pronounced Get fucked Travel Mug
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I’ve hit a whole new level of not giving a fuck - Travel Mug
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I’m sitting here enjoying my brew like I’ve got no shit to do - Travel Mug
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I know that some people don’t like me. Do you know that I don’t give a fuck - Travel Mug
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Don’t you sometimes just want to say. You can’t possibly be that fucking stupid - Travel Mug
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Don't mistake me for someone who gives a fuck - Travel Mug
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Didn’t care yesterday. Don’t give a shit today. Most likely won’t give a fuck tomorrow - Travel Mug
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Did you know that there’s a medicine for what you suffer from? It’s called cuntybiotics - Travel Mug
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Conquering shit like a boss on a caffeine overdose - Travel Mug
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A Wise Woman Once Said Fuck This Shit And She Lived Happily Ever After Travel Mug
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Somebody sedate me - Travel Mug
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If you don’t like me, breathe in and out. There’s literally nothing else you can do - Travel Mug
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Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt - Travel Mug
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Stupid people shouldn’t breed - Travel Mug
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Prison is temporary, memories are forever - Travel Mug
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Some days the supply of available profanities is insufficient for my demand - Travel Mug
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Being nice is overrated. Just find a good lawyer - Travel Mug
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Apologies if I loook like I'm interested - Travel Mug
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No Crisis Allowed This Week. My Schedule Is Already Full - Travel Mug
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I actually enjoy being this dramatic - Travel Mug
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Live. Laugh. Love. Leave me alone - Travel Mug
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Do not disturb me whilst I’m drinking my coffee. My will to live and all of my people skills are in this mug - Travel Mug
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Today's mantra Punching people will land me jail time and I'm too soft for jail. Omm - Travel Mug
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I won't die without coffee, But you might - Travel Mug
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I was once a people person. But people ruined that for me. Now I'm a coffee person - Travel Mug
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I don't need your attitude. I've got my own - Travel Mug
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The devil whispered I'm coming for you. I whispered back bring coffee - Travel Mug
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I hate when people don't get my sarcasm because I now sound like a bully - Travel Mug
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Your secrets are safe with me. I'm not even listening - Travel Mug
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I won't be remembered as a person who keeps their mouth shut - Travel Mug
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Apologies for having a great rack and always being right - Travel Mug
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Daily reminder some people are here just to test your patience - Travel Mug
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Keeping my head high and my middle finger higher - Travel Mug
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We drink coffee in this place - Travel Mug
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Proud member of the overcaffeinated club - Travel Mug
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Apparently, alcohol is not the way to improve staff meetings - Travel Mug
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As per my previous email - Travel Mug
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I'm all peopled out - Travel Mug
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I hope your day is as pleasant as you - Travel Mug
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I believe in being annoyed at first sight - Travel Mug
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Go away. I'm introverting - Travel Mug
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I have a very peopley job for a person who doesn’t like people - Travel Mug
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I’m sitting here enjoying my brew like I’ve got nothing to do - Travel Mug
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I’m sitting here enjoying my brew like I’ve got no work to do - Travel Mug
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Good girls go to heaven. Bad ones get spanked - Travel Mug
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Why is it called ‘beauty sleep’ if I wake up looking like this - Travel Mug
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‘We don’t lick people’ is the biggest lie we tell children - Travel Mug
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Being sarcastic and being sincere sounds surprisingly similar - Travel Mug
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Being at work is a social experiment testing the limits of my patience and ability to interract with idiots - Travel Mug
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You can’t possibly still be shocked by what’s coming out of my mouth - Travel Mug
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I wonder how many people listen to me and think if I get psychiatric help - Travel Mug
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Dear life, could you at least use lube - Travel Mug
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There is someone for everyone. For some, it’s a psychiatrist - Travel Mug
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Common sense is not that common - Travel Mug
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From the bottom of my heart: I don’t care - Travel Mug
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I'm struggling to care and I'm not even sorry - Travel Mug
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The Most Stable Thing In My Life Is My Coffee Routine Travel Mug
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I Don't Need A Motivational Quote. I Need Coffee Travel Mug
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I Don't Rise And Shine. I Caffeinate & Hope For The Best Travel Mug
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Life Is What Happens Between Coffee And Wine Travel Mug
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Life Begins After Coffee Travel Mug
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Life Happens, Coffee Helps Travel Mug
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Coffee First, You People Later Travel Mug
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Sorry For What I Said Before Coffee Travel Mug
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Death Before Decaf Travel Mug
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I Drink Coffee For Your Protection Travel Mug
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I'm Really Not Funny. I'm Just Mean And People Think I'm Joking Travel Mug
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May Contain Alcohol Travel Mug
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Don't Worry What People Think. They Don't Do It Very Often Travel Mug
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I Swear I Have It All Together. I Just Forgot Where I Put It Travel Mug
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I'm Not Sarcastic. I'm Just A Funny Person Surrounded By Idiots Travel Mug
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I'm Such A Millennial Travel Mug
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I Wouldn't Have To Manage My Anger If People Managed Their Stupidity Travel Mug
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Poor Planning On Your Part Does Not Constitute An Emergency On Mine Travel Mug
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What Doesn't Kill You Disappoints Me Travel Mug
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I'm Sarcastic Because Punching People Is Frowned Upon Travel Mug
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The Bags Under My Eyes Are Designer Travel Mug
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I Couldn't Care Less - Travel Mug
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Staying positive & testing negative - Ceramic Mug
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Somebody sedate me - Ceramic Mug
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Some people like to stir the pot. Some people like to smoke it - Ceramic Mug
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If you don’t like me, breathe in and out. There’s literally nothing else you can do - Ceramic Mug
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Taking it one ‘are you fucking kidding me’ at a time - Ceramic Mug
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I’ve hit a whole new level of not giving a fuck - Ceramic Mug
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Today’s plan FUCK IT! - Ceramic Mug
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Live. Laugh. Love. Leave me alone - Ceramic Mug
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Do not disturb me whilst I’m drinking my coffee. My will to live and all of my people skills are in this mug - Ceramic Mug
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Today's mantra Punching people will land me jail time and I'm too soft for jail. Omm - Ceramic Mug
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I won't die without coffee, But you might - Ceramic Mug
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I was once a people person. But people ruined that for me. Now I'm a coffee person - Ceramic Mug
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I don't need your attitude. I've got my own - Ceramic Mug
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Some people score the perfect 10 on my twatometer - Ceramic Mug
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I'll never ever ever get my shit together - Ceramic Mug
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Live. Laugh. Love. Don't be a... - Ceramic Mug
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I'm sarchotic. People don't know if I'm just sarcastic or fucking psychotic - Ceramic Mug
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Trauma. Do you mean the reason why I'm so fucking hilarious - Ceramic Mug
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The devil whispered I'm coming for you. I whispered back bring coffee - Ceramic Mug
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Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt - Ceramic Mug
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I'm a tea enthusiast. The more tea I drink, the more enthusiastic I become - Ceramic Mug
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I'm a coffee enthusiast. The more coffee I drink, the more enthusiastic I become - Ceramic Mug
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If anyone has any experiene with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know - Ceramic Mug
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I hate when people don't get my sarcasm because I now sound like a bully - Ceramic Mug
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I don't remember how to write in Roman numerals. I'M LIVID - Ceramic Mug
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At some point you will find someone who is obsessed with you and wants you all the time. Don't ler that person be your manager at work - Ceramic Mug
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BookTok Man In A Doorway - Ceramic Mug
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I don't have the energy for you today - Ceramic Mug
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I'm a YOUR TEXT I work harder than ugly strippers - Personalised Ceramic Mug
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Your secrets are safe with me. I'm not even listening - Ceramic Mug
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I'm allergic to stupidity. I break out in sarcasm - Ceramic Mug
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I won't be remembered as a person who keeps their mouth shut - Ceramic Mug
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I wish stupid people came with the mute button - Ceramic Mug
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Don't be ashamed of who you are. That's your parents job - Ceramic Mug
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Apologies for having a great rack and always being right - Ceramic Mug
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I don't have the energy today to pretend I like people - Ceramic Mug
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I have finally discovered what’s wrong with people. On the left side of their brains, there’s nothing right, and on the right side, there’s nothing left - Ceramic Mug
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If you hear me shouting at my children, just know, that I said it nicely 37 times - Ceramic Mug
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Live Laugh Fuck Off - Ceramic Mug
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Daily reminder some people are here just to test your patience - Ceramic Mug
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Proudly sponsored by blood, sweat and tears but mostly wine - Ceramic Mug
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Keeping my head high and my middle finger higher - Ceramic Mug
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Father / Dad: Wisdom is surpassed only by his sense of directions - Ceramic Mug
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Father / Dad: The person we ask about mum's whereabouts - Ceramic Mug
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Father / Dad: The guardian of the thermostat, keeper of the sacred household temperature - Ceramic Mug
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Father / Dad: Proudly supporting socks with sandals since forever - Ceramic Mug
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Father / Dad: Master of the grill, king of the corny joke - Ceramic Mug
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Father / Dad: Keeps mother sane and the children alive - Ceramic Mug
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Father / Dad: Carries photos where his money used to be - Ceramic Mug
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Don’t you sometimes just want to say. You can’t possibly be that fucking stupid - Ceramic Mug
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We drink coffee in this place - Ceramic Mug
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Proud member of the overcaffeinated club - Ceramic Mug
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Apparently, alcohol is not the way to improve staff meetings - Ceramic Mug
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Sometimes I don’t know if I’m in a bad mood or everyone around me is just fucking stupid - Ceramic Mug
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Saying fuck off is rude. Instead ask how can I hep you to fuck off. Be kind - Ceramic Mug
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I refer to myself as a ‘free spirit’ because it sounds better than ‘out of fucking control' - Ceramic Mug
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Don't mistake me for someone who gives a fuck - Ceramic Mug
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As per my previous email - Ceramic Mug
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The only things in my house that aren’t dusty are my wine glasses - Ceramic Mug
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Successful adulting is when you avoid stabbing someone even though you really want to - Ceramic Mug
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I'm all peopled out - Ceramic Mug
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If I'm too much, go find less - Ceramic Mug
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I'd be too powerful if I was mentally stable - Ceramic Mug
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I hope your day is as pleasant as you - Ceramic Mug
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I don't want to adult anymore. I don't even want to be a human. I want to be a goat and headbutt everyone - Ceramic Mug
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I believe in being annoyed at first sight - Ceramic Mug
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Good luck with yourself - Ceramic Mug
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Go away. I'm introverting - Ceramic Mug
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I’ve tried shutting up. It’s not for me - Travel Mug
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I’m sitting here enjoying my brew like I’ve got no laundry to do - Travel Mug
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I’m glad that my thoughts don’t appear in speech bubbles over my head - Travel Mug
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I wonder if people look both ways before getting on my fucking nerves - Travel Mug
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I can’t turn water into wine but I can turn alcohol into bad decisions and absolute chaos - Travel Mug
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Some people are like twunts. Because twat and cunt just isn't enough - Travel Mug
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Not to brag, but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions - Travel Mug
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DO NOT DISTURB! Already disturbed. Proceed with caution - Travel Mug
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Give me coffee to change the things I can and wine to accept those that I cannot - Travel Mug
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I wish I lacked common sense. You all seem so happy - Travel Mug
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I really want to be nice to people but some of you dickheads - Travel Mug
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You cannot imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give - Travel Mug
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I’m not trying to insult people. I’m just good at describing them - Travel Mug
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I have my own circus and my own monkeys. Keep yours away - Travel Mug
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Some days my supply of available fucks to give is insufficient for the demand - Travel Mug
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It’s hard to smile and nod when all I want to do is slap people in their faces - Travel Mug
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Let me check my giveashitometer. Nope, nothing - Travel Mug
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Coffee spelled backwards is eeffoc, and I don't give an eeffoc until I had my coffee - Travel Mug
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I'm too old for this SHIT - Travel Mug
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